Verbs before nouns

Hello, I am here again. Sitting on the opposite of a laptop, confused about where the rest of my brainstems fell short of the prospects of my day to day activities. I know many a people feel that they can rest easy by covering up there problems with surrounding of other people, clearing their heads by slipping into another state of mind. Simple things like boyfriends, avoiding and work to stop them from thinking of the bad. I don't do that, I avoid confrontation at every cost. But lately I've been wanting to deal head on, but because this is all so new to me. I am unsure how to go about it. I lost contact with someone who found me this year, and she waited 19 years for me, and me I anticipated 19 years, and I am left all empty and not full of answers like I usually am. Instead I am, learning from feelings. Living on feelings. Play with feelings.
Then there is him. His look could kill me itself. And I slowly slip into this state of just prying myself at him to see if it would feel the same way. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and it is all an illusion of my heart being fooled by lust, and what there was and what was left unanswered. Is there always going to be something from my energy toward your energy, or is my energy going to eventually run down, and you will be dead to me. Like they all are. Cold hearts, cold hearts, don't deserve to be so cold.
And there it is. A text message. What does she miss. I leave some of the most important text messages unanswered, and the easy ones I wait on.. hope for. Meaningless conversation is my muse lately.
This company has its prospects. All being such creative people, I hope for the best 2010 has coming. Will we be able to pull ourselves together, organize, agree, disagree to agree on ideas and will our creative juices stay flowing... until we are complete. I can only hope everybody else in this hopes as much as I do.
The nights, where young love stirs, and I finally realize I'm growing up. The conversation is easy, but older. We are getting so much older. The sexual tension is apparent. The smile is hard to wipe off my childish face. I feel fire, but some reason ice is lowering this temperature. Lyn is scared again, oh god. But why do I shut every open gateway for a move, when will he work up the courage to just work it up on me, take control I need control. I want to feel something, so unknown and so new. But am I expecting to feel this, when it is not there. Once again is my mind playing the tricks that always seem to be something when there is nothing or nothing when there is something.
Happy New Year. I am belly dancing on New Years, hahaha. I will miss my friends/family. But money is what this world is all about now. Miss my New Years kiss