Stop this train

Grrrrrrrr, finals make me dizzy. Does anybody else have the problem of being 19 and not accepting it. I still have the mind state of 14 year old, I feel like my body is 14. All these responsibilities, is an eye opening. Paying bills to college. I go to college!?!?? Welcome to the real world baby, I still feel like a big baby who loves when mommy cooks chicken cutlets for dinner, who stays in her room locked away, who still feels weird driving my car. When am I going to accept I am old, and growing up. Looking at apartments has made me feel, funky. I feel like my job is a social event, I feel like my art class is for fun and not for a B+. I don't know where to begin at making me realize I am getting older, even though I am good at being young. When I am in a car with people of 21 years of age, I feel like I am just hanging out with sophomores at my high school. Ugh high school, where I actually thought waking up for school was bad. I always think with this mind state of young and I think it helps me out sometimes, besides the fact of admitting I am getting older. But it helps me get up out of bed, go to school and dance classes. Because when I was 2 I used to do 10x more in a day then I do now. We're all so quick to take on responsibilities of a 19 year old. Getting cars, staying out drinking, no curfews but we're all also so bad at taking on the actual work that comes on with all those. That is the ideal age. The age where all this new is allowed, and responsibility is starting to grow, but it never really comes. 14-16. When I was starting to go out, have friends drive to me to dance instead my mom, homework on my own, first job babysitting business and every 20 dollars I made I didn't need to save, I just went and got a 20 dollars shirt at the mall on a saturday afternoon with 2 friends. Ugh. I miss that. I also love being old. I feel so much more in control of my emotions.
"Welcome to the real world now"
"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young"
But.. Who's to say, anyway?


Radio station
"Pretty the world" matt nathanson
"Word play" Jason Mraz
"Styrofoam Ashes" Deathcab for Cutie
"Situations" Jack Johnson
"Where are you now" Michelle Branch
"Anna Molly" Incubus
"The Celibate life" The shins
"Left behind" Aqualung
"River" Lights
"California" Copeland
"The Dreamer and the realist"  The Morning of
"Shut your eyes" Snow patrol
"Dreamworld" Rilo Kiley
"Jane" Ben Folds Five
"She paints me blue" Something corporate
"Goodie like two shoes" matchbook romance
"If your Feeling Sinister" Belle and Sebastion
"White feather" Wolfmother "
"Caves" Jacks Mannequin
"Me and the Moon" Something Corporate
"Martyr me" The Get Up Kids
"Billion Bees" Kevin Devine
"Road To Joy" Bright Eyes
"Light" Rocket summer
"Papercut skin" The Matches
"I'm not saying goodbye" A rocket to the moon
"Pacific Theme" Broken Social Scene
"On Your Wings" Iron and Wine
"Kissing you lips" Quietdrive
"Lonely day"Phantom planet
"Gimmi Gimmi shock treatment" The Romones
"Someone is waiting" Neutral Milk Hotel
"Lyrical lies" Cute is what we aim for
"Make out kids" Motion City Soundtrack
"Coffee break" FTSK
"Contellation" The Julianna Theory
"Fight" Ben Kweller
"You won't know" Brand new
"Radio Cure" Wilco
"July, July" The Decemberists
"Baby it's a fact" Hellogoodbye
"Stop this Train" John Mayer
"Almost lovers" A Fine Frenzy
"The Delicate Place" Spoon
"In the rearview" The Academy is
"The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" The Postal Service
"Sharp Knife" Third Eyed Blind ----> "All that we call chaos I will say is by design" <3
"On the Radio" Regina Spektor

k.