December daze

Aw that was my first post of December.  December let's see. Where was I last December.
I had just broken up with my boyfriend in November I was still coping with the feelings of leaving someone you told you loved them, and then one day waking up and realizing you want to be alone. December was my unwind month. Defiantly. The 6 girls were hanging out, going out meeting people every night. I was still on and off with Mike. I had a fling last December that was probably the most fun I've had with a boy... Ever? It was effortless and because me and him were both tied to other things and new at this single thing it was all just fun. I needed fun. Maybe that's what I need this December too. These 3 months have flown by. I feel like it was yesterday I was on a beach with Heather sipping sangria talking about possible bbq's that evening. This year flew by really. Dominican Republic was in April. Ah sweet April. Last December and last April were the best months of my life I might say. Everything was easy, no tangled webs. Just friends being friends and lovers being lovely. This year I made a lot of money, (a lot more then I have to show) duh to my spending habits. Yes my closet tripled in the past year. I saved a lot though and I am very happy. Saving for the future feels just so sweet. Sweet triumph. ahha. I met some awesome people in this year and rekindled past relationships as well. I saw friendships start and end quickly in a year. And many year long friendships rip their last string. I met my fucking birth mother this year. I got my heart broken this year. I broke a hear this year. On a good note, I love new years. I feel fresh, rejuvenated and easy. January, you always make me feel so easy. Last January I felt like I was on top of the world with dancing and Nassau going so god damn well. And 2010 entails graduating! a new chapter in my life. I will be able to say I have an Associates Degree. Laugh at me. But god damn, I worked my confused ass off for an A in every single class minus my C in science (I hate you Kadar.hahaa). Scholorships are now in the works and they give back to me the endless hours I spent awake on this top lap. This year I feel older, mature. Capable of making huge decisions regarding money and people. I am going into fucking business with people, devoting my time and effort into something I have my heart in. I am making a name for myself and a future for me. Ambition in me feels more on fire then ever before. I want to do so much with myself, and this is exactly where I want to start. Over 25 auditions I tried out this year also. Saying that is amazing to me. I did it all. Put my heart into a movement my body is meant to make. Even being denied half of them I still went, pushed and went through with something. Now I can say I am a lead dancer, and I like feeling lke I deserve it. And anybody who knows me, knows I don't go through with things a lot of time. I make up excuses and fall out last minute. I can't do that anymore. I don't have excuses to bury my head in anymore. I have only the road ahead of me. Long and winding road! I am ready to be tossed any obstacle and not even say I will overcome it, but fuck it I'll try. I'm also 19. And I love fun. Drinks, ladies, dancing, singing, making fool out of myself, falling in and out of love like night and day, flirting, saying things I don't mean. And I'm ready to do it another year. Traveling is always a must for me and now it when I start to book my travel plans. China here I come! Isreal hopefully in march too! So December you will end and January will start. Even just months and made up things, I feel brand new.


2010:
Video girl
Publish a diary
Dance on broadway?
Friends=ideas=success
(IN)theory .. all you got
China
Israel
Back to DR or aruba with ladies (carefree)
Travel the states, meet everybody
do something different in each state
Grand Canyon.. take 2.
Say I love you in each state
Graduate NCC with killer gpa
get accepted to city college
Teach dance to my little ballerinas
Go somewhere far with my brothers.. be together. Healthy!
Waterfalls 18x !
Get an apartment in the city
Live independently
feeeeeeeel alive!
family, another year together!