I want to go to library and take out poetry books. I have been writing poetry a lot lately. I met somebody who really likes my poetry and lyrics and is putting amazing melodies to my words. It's really cool to have my feelings come alive, sung to me. It's like I am seeing myself from an outside view, singing to me. It is all in my head. And of course along with this recent gap of inspiration comes my art improving. My design teacher I didn't like at first but she plays this amazing african, Egyptian music while we paint and design in class. And it is doing something to me. I think I am coming onto something. Words of songs during art distract me. Because I am an analyzer I am thinking about the singer. I love music don't get me wrong. but me I think I read to much into it. That when I am trying to be creative and get what I am feeling on paper to portray through my art I need just music. Lead my mind to interpret it and think what I want. It is odd because when I am writing I like background music with words. Recently Friendly Fires, Rougue Wave, A Rocket to the Moon, Regina Spektor. Gasoline Heart.
Always: The Beatles, Mae, Nada Surf, Muse, Brand New, and Bob Dylan will always be my main man.
They all inspire. So Lately I'm just finding my place. It might not be where I feel safe. I will have to deal. I was here to inspire. I am here because I have been doing that. I want to feel things, and really show myself. Prove myself to myself. I stay busy, keep to myself, do things that make me feel so damn good inside. And life is about feeling OKAY with yourself. And I think today I can say.. I am ok!
Folding Chair - Regina Spektor. listen
Maybe one day you will understand, I don't want anything but to simply hold your hand.
Come and open up your folding chair next to mine.
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