Meet me on the equinox

this is a quick post. I am late to dance rehearsal.
But lately my head has been so cloudy. I am losing this sense of who I am. While staring at a supposed to happen meteor shower last night. I thought what am I living among, such beauty. All inspiration. I don't think it's weird that there are 1 billion stars above me. Yes I do. Quite contrary. If I do say so myself. I wonder where they came from. Where I came from. If there really is destiny then what was I put here to do. I am losing my sense of purpose I think. This seems to happen always when I get a year older. A year closer. M

My purpose is life. At it's full extent. To learn to be okay with myself and with my decisions. To find company and peace in my friends and family. To help other conquer all these same things. To fall in love with no boundaries. To make love and it be passionate amazing hard real and it never change. To never hurt myself or anybody else purposely. To feel things, really feel them. To tame my brain or just meet someone who has a brain on my weird level of craziness. Loco. I am content with where I am and where I am going. I am doing what I love to do everyday of my life. Dancing. I am running a team where I see my choreography come to life. I am working doing what I love and making money while doing what I love to do.... is what I need to do in my time.

I am scared. October 26th is around the bend. I always have things to look forward to. That's sort of what my life is based on. Everyones I think. People including myself don't know how to live in the now. I want everyone with me when I meet this woman. But I know I have to do it alone. My brothers, Taylor I want to be in a corner cafe waiting for me. Because I have never done something like this before. With so much fear and anticipation.

I need time alone with him to know exactly how I feel. I can't decided if it's desire in me to conquer something or if I still have those feelings I had.
I am sorry for hurting you, I am just not ready. I don't think I will ever be ready.




Now off to dance these thoughts off, get lost in music.
New Moon Soundtrack and Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack=<3



And today, I'm coming out.