When I turn scarlet, remember me.

What runs through ones mind when she is trying to fall asleep. The loneliness that creeps into herself while it's dark. Her accomplishments of that day. Not the things, the images that formed throughout the past two days. Torn between right and wrong. She doesn't feel. She cant ever get to an answer because the images are blurry. I can't piece them together. Fighting, arguing. Wrongful words. Waking up in a bed I can't call my own. Letting people know how I feel. Images pop up and turn around. I am lost. I don't know how I got here. All the time I just go with the flow. She chooses based on her decision before that decision. I can't keep up with myself. And once again loneliness seeps in. With love all around me, the help seems unhelpful. It still feels alone. It is my existence, my purpose to be alone. Death will come and burden me of loneliness. I will be reminded of the loneliness as my last thought. The emptiness of my heart of non fulfillment. Never call her my friend. Only my mother. My emotions, are channeled on art. I choose my friends as my lovers. They are the road I choose. I get pushed away by the ones I am conditioned to love. It isn't real love. I choose my own way but there is no way out.