A multitude of casualties

Where I end and you begin. I have been feeling so good lately. I have been taking all these vitamins and they really do something to you. Trying to regulate my sleeping habits is helping a bit to, but that is inevitable. I went into the city today, it made me realize how much I am looking forward to living with my half in the city. It will be easy, you know living with your best friend. She works 5 day work weeks, 10 hour days and I will be in school and dancing on weekends. So time together will be limited, but that makes it bettter. Taylor is my sister. I can't consider her a friend. We advice each other soo much and are able to know exactly how the person is feeling when we can play it off so good. It is so important to make that connection with another human being. Life is about making connection and I feel so lucky to have bonded with someone this early.

I think life is all about learning to be okay with yourself. You have to learn how to be okay with yourself. It takes time to learn to accept the things you cannot change. I am slowly learning to be okay with myself. But I don't think I will or any body can ever be fully until at least 30. It could take a lifetime of learning to be okay with yourself. Everybody is so hard on themselves, I am probably harder on myself then I let myself show.

Since I was 6 and started dance. You stare at yourself dance in mirror with 30 other girls. You can't help but compare yourself. And that's where you learn it. You learn compitition. Competition is inbreeded at such a young age that it is so hard to escape. I can for the first time in a long time, say that when I work a dance job, or go to an audition. I work my ass off. I stare in the mirror at myself. i am done comparing. Trying to do that. I have this style of lyrical that is different then most lyrical teachers teach. But it just happens the second the music turns on. I tried years to change it so I wouldn't look out of sort on stage, and that was okay. That was a learning process. I had to, to not be the only ballerina with her hands one way, and not the other way. But now auditioning and choreographing it is all about my style. Just like an artist, to become a sucessful artist or fashion designer you need to have sort of your own style. Obviously the technique is taught, but style is so important.

Just learn to be okay with yourself, accept the things you cannot take. And change insecurities to securities. I'm learning everyday. I feel like I should say REV RUN now. But I won't. (God bless)
I just got very good news about gina. Not only is she going to be an amazing fashion designer she is going to be Americas Next Top Model. You are beautiful. Good luck.
Now clean, paint, sketch, sleep, week of doom.
I love love.