The games that play us

What a day. Today I felt reinvigorated. Wow. I had a normal day. And it is 1 and I am in bed. How ironic. I will probably lay here until my lap top dies. Then whip out the diary and write in there. And then count sheep. Whenever I wake up the first thing I think about is the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. Where was my head, do I remember falling asleep. Then I think about my dreams. Where the hell my head was for the past 5 hours. (3 knowing me). Every night same time, on school nights about 1am when I devote an hour to photoshop, my cat always climbs up here and cuddles right on my chest. She reads the time. clocks and all. Amazing chrissy kitty.

We've all got something that won't go away. For me it's this war inside my head about needing to get inside people heads. I feel like I can't hold a conversation with someone without thinking what is going on their head. It is such a bad fucking habit. Because I am not paying so much attention to what they are saying. But what they are thinking. I can't read minds. The only way into a persons thoughts is their words. For me it's my diary. My words are bullshit.
Doesn't it scare the shit out of you, that you will never, can never get inside a persons head. I mean I guess it scares me because I know what goes on in this head. But for real, your head is so your own. I've lied to therapists before for the fun of it, so trust me not even they can get in this flower pot on my head.

You should be ashamed of the hearts you stole.


Your freaking me out. My room is so beautiful and clean I don't want to leave here. 3 most important sayings to me:
1) Do you feel?
2) People always leave
3) Let it be

I believe in make-believe. So won't you believe in you and me.
Tomorrow I am going to my Aunts house to really do something with my funky garage band. I wish I would let people listen to it, to get back feed back. It's like girl version dashboard meets owl city vamped up with a dark twisted Lyn side. I really am digging. It's just something I needed to do. To know I did it. Like mostly everything I dip myself a little bit into different pools of colors and I am this huge rainbow of color and things with no idea which one will sweep me off my feet and consume my life and time. When I do find that thing, it will be awesome because I am such a perfectionist that it needs to be lyn esque.

I am tired. Here is my attempt at sleep and little battery life. Copeland on Saturday I hope I am not working a night party.

Wheres your head?