Secret crowds

Sometimes to much I get caught up in the supposed to. The tracks which we are programmed to believe are right, I think that I am so far from normal that I must not be a pinch close to the regular. But it is only my head I am in. How do I know you don't feel the same way. I am where I am because of the kind of person I am. I like to just keep to myself, let people see the side of me they will compliment, but what about complimenting my head. Sometimes I get tired of hearing the same thing, the same tunes. It's time for a change. But he makes me feel alive. Alive to what extent. When will it stop being a game, and just be a feeling. Where someone can completely grasp there finger around my concept of love inside my head. I have no one to blame but myself. I play games, not the type of hard to get play sexy. Games of thinking to much into things and not following my inhibition. Come and lay with me. The beginnings get tired after a while. I say they're the best part but maybe it's the only part I know. I don't know anything past the surface.