Mind games color outside the lines

We all are such misguided ghosts, we listen to this inner voice inside of our small heads where nothing stands correct. We follow a list of unwritten rules when it comes to thinking. Thinking itself should be outlawed. I could go on and pretend the month didn't happen, but I'm human and I break every rule when t comes to thinking. I just let my mind run wild. People always leave. I've been running from this idea but in fact it follows me around. I'm just not going to share it anymore, with anyone. Maybe it's the energy I'm putting out there that it's coming around. I was left idle and waiting with no explanation from someone who didn't even know my favorite color. But I fell, I allowed this caged up heart to seep through and actually feel something, just to have it pulled out from underneath me. Like in those magic tricks where they pull out the table cloth but somehow all the silverware stays there. I'm still here; in East Meadow. While your hundreds of miles away, all the silverware is in the same spot except I have nothing to be comfortable on. Is it really just comfort? I have no one to confide in, listen to. Care about. Congratulations I feel like you won a contest, you made me fall and did to me what I guess I deserve. I guess I'm on the edge of a breakdown because the start you promised this wouldn't happen. Leaving geographically and realistically are two different things. You took the realistic road before you set sail to the west. The real question I keep replaying in my head, is this everything you've ever wanted?