Day 1

     As with age comes complications with heartaches, realization of what is healthier/better in the long run. You can't help but think about how life is going to be with the decisions you make now. When you were 14, it was just about tomorrows. The homework due in the morning, the breakfast for dinner nights you look forward to. Now it's about credits in college, safe sex, saving this money for this future that is only merely a figment of every ones imagination. What if an asteroid hit tomorrow? or now? and I couldn't finish this, and I missed my opportunity to tell him how I felt, or use up all the money in my bank account on my ideal day. By a huge body of water, like the Colorado River, or hiking the everglade mountains. But a scene that takes a breath away. By a person that takes my breath away.
     We all set ourselves up for this constant game of being let down, I'm trying to be the one to crack that code. The code of never thinking something that isn't true. Of being let down, when nothing was intended that way. It's all in the head, head games make assumptions that kill in the end. I have spent a year imagining what it would be like to take our hearts out of these shells we enclosed them in. To openly show each other the scars we sport on them, and not heal them but show them new ways.
        Don't spend this whole life, trying to get something you once had. A time you remember when you were so happy, and life was easy. Don't try to get that back. Try to get better/try to get happier/aim for higher/newer.
I AM GOING CRAZY, race car brain, red belt around my mind, shell back up around my heart.